The pressure for teens nowadays is unprecedented. With so many high-achieving kids, it’s no wonder that teens—and their parents—feel as if a child has to have a multi-page resume, be a world-class athlete or manage her own business by the time she is 18. But that just isn’t possible for everyone. There are lots of kids out there who are just that—kids—and there is a place for everyone. And a college for everyone.

Staying Focused On Schoolwork

There is no denying that these teen years set the stage for your child’s future. In high school, grades and extracurricular activities become part of that all-important “permanent record.” And if your child wants to get into a good college, she will have to go the extra mile.

If your child doesn’t use her time wisely and puts her schoolwork off to concentrate on her social life or after-school activities–and if her grades are showing this–gently prod her to get back to business. Remind her that her job right now is to get good grades and be a well-rounded student. Stay in contact with your child’s teachers and become a known figure around school. She will realize that you care deeply about her education—and her.

When School is Scary

There are other factors that may be keeping your teen from doing her best at school. Besides bullying (a longtime but nonetheless devestating concern), a serious issue facing many schools today is the presence of violence and atmosphere of fear. Every time there is another school shooting, kids all over the country have to overcome the terror of the thought that this can happen to them.

Many schools have instituted a policy of zero tolerance when it comes to guns (and drugs). But the means to attain this—metal detectors, drug-sniffing dogs—can also be frightening. Unfortunately, there is just no way around it. This is the world we live in. Comfort your child, let her know that the odds of this happening to her are very low, and remind her that protective systems are in place and that she still must concentrate on school.

Preventing and Dealing with Burnout

School pressure can come from teachers and parents, and it can also come from the child herself. Some pressure is good—it keeps a teen’s eye on the prize at the end of four years: The college of her choice.

But too much pressure, whether it comes from an adult or the child, is counterproductive and will lead to burnout. Make sure your teen balances her schoolwork and her life outside it, and remind her that these overwhelming years are a transition into adulthood.

Alternative School Programs

If your child is one of the thousands of kids who just doesn’t seem to be able to handle school, it isn’t the end of the world. Talk to your teen about the consequences of dropping out, and if all else fails try to find an alternative program. Many communities around the country have combination high school/college programs in which a child earns his high school diploma while also accruing college credits. Some offer vocational programs, which give teens on-the-job training in the field they’re considering. There are also other programs through which your child can obtain her general equivalency diploma (GED). Obtaining this, by whatever means, will greatly increase her earning potential in the future.