Encourage Positive Risk Taking

Self-confident children have the inner fortitude to try new things, even if it means a possibility of failure. Cheer on your toddler as he or she tries new skills. As a family, read a book on a topic new to all of you. Take a walk on some unfamiliar trails, just for the adventure of seeing where you'll end up.

When my daughter was younger and assigned to bring something for Show and Tell, I encouraged risk taking. Instead of having her share the latest Barbie doll, I'd give her a theme such as "Take something you made yourself." (We baked bread which she shared with the class.) "Take something that grows in the ground." (She picked dandelions and showed their long root systems.) The teacher always commented positively about Sondra's unique choice of Show and Tell items. In a small way, she learned she'd get positive reinforcement by doing things a bit different from the ordinary.

Let Children Make Choices

Yes, you want your toddler daughter to go out wearing the cute red plaid skirt with the matching red sweater. She, of course, wants to wear the purple striped pants with her yellow flowered turtleneck. Why not let her?

A large part of self-confidence is the feeling that it's great to reach out and do something out of the ordinary. All too often as parents we say things such as, "But all the other kids have lunch boxes. Why do you want your lunch in a bag?" Give children the opportunity to make choices as long as safety and family values are taken into account.

Keep Praise in Perspective

There's a tendency for parents to praise every action their child makes. There's no need to clap and cheer if your youngster puts his napkin on his lap at dinner; that's expected behavior. Some parents gush over every scribble their toddler makes as if each drawing belongs in a museum.

As a preschool teacher, I often saw parents excessively praise children for minor accomplishments; yet positive feedback is effective when it is realistic. When children learn they can do almost anything and parents automatically give a standing ovation, the praise loses its meaning.