Teaching the Virtues: Patience
Give Hard Examples
By Mary Dixon Lebeau
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As the child gets older, many real-life situations allow the parents to teach patience. For example, do like the florists do and “say it with flowers.”
“Involve your child in the process of planting a seed, caring for it and watching it grow,” suggests Lancer. “As the child observes changes, explain how everything in life takes a certain amount of time to change from the way things are to the way things are going to be. Nothing just happens.”
Expert Tips to Develop Patience
- Make the lesson visual. Gruen suggests making a chart that shows your child how many days until a desired activity. My own family makes “holiday chains,” with each link representing a day between the present and the holiday. My children recognize that only one link can be removed at a time, no matter how quickly they want time to pass.
- For more visual reinforcement, use a timer. The child can see that his waiting will have an end when the sand runs down. Sometimes the difficulty with waiting is not-knowing when it will end.
- Don’t tolerate interruptions. Unless it’s an emergency (as defined by the family), a child is to wait for his turn to speak. She’ll be rewarded with the same respect when it’s her turn to talk.
- Read Bible stories and other tales that emphasize the benefits of quietly waiting. Let the child retell the story in his own words.
- Play a lot of board games. Most games include turn-taking, which gives the child an opportunity to develop waiting skills while having fun.
And most of all curb your own enthusiasm for giving your child her heart’s desire. As Daniel L. Buccino, co-founder of the Baltimore Psychotherapy Institute, notes, “Patience is not a moment, or an event, but rather a process and a practice of character and temperament and civility.” The best way to move that process forward in our children’s lives is to practice it in our own.
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