• Establish Communication: While no doubt most children are merely being playful or affectionate with their friends, not everyone has such innocent motives; that's why a conversation about good and bad touch can be beneficial. Even if your child is only four years old, he still knows when he feels uncomfortable.

A good way to explain the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching is that the latter causes you to feel uncomfortable and that you should always tell someone when you feel this way.

Amy Cloud, mother of an eight-year-old daughter, can attest to this method of instruction. "When my daughter Kiley was small, there was a little boy at her daycare who was very sweet but physically aggressive," begins Cloud, "She told me she didn't like his hugs." So, "[Kiley] told him so, I talked with the boy [and] so did the daycare director and [the boy] stopped." Most of the time, all it takes is a little discussion to solve the problem.

• Learn to Identify Body Parts: Even very young children can learn about appropriate and inappropriate touching, especially when they are available to identify their own body parts.
• Understand Good Touching vs. Bad Touching: Explain the difference between good touching, such as hand holding, hugging, or a parent changing a child's diaper; and bad touching, such as hitting, kicking, touching private parts (anything that a swimsuit covers).
• Keep No Secrets: Instruct your child to always tell you or a teacher if he or she has been encouraged to keep a secret. Help your child know that you won't be angry or upset, even if your child feels she's done something wrong.
• The Right to Say No: Be sure your child understands she has the right to say no to any kind of touching that she doesn't like. And that she should tell you or a teacher about any touching done by a child or adult that feels wrong.

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