Another common issue among parents of gifted preschoolers is achieving the right balance between stimulation and too much pressure. Many gifted children already exhibit perfectionist tendencies, and creating a stress-filled environment under the guise of "helping them reach their potential" can backfire. Our experts suggest loving them as children first. "Remember that your preschooler is just that... a very young child. Even if she is bright and is ahead of her peers in certain areas, she still has the emotional and social needs of children her age," Dr. Silverman reminds us.

Dr. McCoach agrees. "In our achievement-oriented society, this is most important. It's OK to have your child tested as a beginning benchmark but not as a license to turn him into a little adult. Results at this age are not always as reliable as with school age children. Keep his interests and natural abilities in mind."

When asked for three simple tips for parents of gifted preschoolers, these authorities spoke with one voice:

1. Let the child take the lead. Gifts will be encouraged, not squandered, if allowed to develop in a warm, loving environment during this time of exploration and rapid brain growth.
2. Respect the child. Children become manipulative without power. Does that mean you let a child run the household? Absolutely not. However, you do want to avoid seeing your child simply as an extension of yourself; he is his own person. Part of this too is learning to take your child at his own merit, not comparing him to others.
3. Keep the lines of communication open. Talk with your child. Don't get caught up in doing so much directing and correcting that you never have real conversations. Find out what her fears and concerns are. Listen to her, understand her, and give her the chance to communicate as one human being to another. You want a relationship that will last.

Finally, as your children near the age of five, and you begin thinking about conventional education, know that not all states provide gifted education in the same way. Some states group the management of gifted education under "special needs" which also includes special education, and alternatives for physically and mentally disabled students. Others keep programs for gifted children as a separate entity. A few have no formalized plan for gifted instruction. Some may have special magnet schools while others incorporate gifted learning into every school. Check with your local school system or state education department to define their approach, and whether a local or state support group for parents of gifted children exists. Talk with other parents and community children's advocates.

Regardless of how the state manages gifted education, know that you have the right to request individualized instruction if the curriculum in your child's classes is not challenging or does not meet your child's needs. Here's a personal example: I have a gifted child, now 14. When he was in kindergarten and the class was learning about George Washington and Abraham Lincoln for President's Day in February, his teacher asked him to read a biography of the current president and tell the rest of the class about him. That's the kind of intervention you want, giving the gifted child opportunities to explore within the context of the classroom.

Dr. Silverman adds one last piece of advice on interaction with teachers about your gifted child: "Don't go in with the attitude: 'What are you going to do for my child?' You are much more likely to build cooperation if you have a pro-active meeting early in the year to discuss how you and the school will partner to address the child's needs. Show your willingness and interest in having your child be challenged. Offer, if you can, to help out in the classroom (there may be others besides your child who need the intervention or different strategies). Don't be satisfied with your child simply receiving extra work."

The preschool years can be a wonderful time of exploration for you and your child. Enjoy all your child's accomplishments and individual abilities and start them on a lifetime journey of learning and growth.

For further information:

Gifted Development Center, Denver, CO
303-837-8378
www.gifteddevelopment.com

University of Connecticut's National Research Center on the Gifted and Talented
860-486-4676
www.gifted.uconn.edu

Article: How Can I Support My Gifted Child? By Linda K. Silverman, Ph.D
www.eric.ed.gov/resources/parent/suptgift.html--one of many articles published on the website for ERIC Clearinghouse on Disabled and Gifted Children
www.ericec.org

American Association for Gifted Children, Durham, NC This is the nation's oldest advocacy group for gifted children. Their website includes important articles and resources about gifted preschoolers and activities for young gifted children.
919-783-6152
www.aagc.org

National Association for Gifted Children, Washington, DC
(202-785-4268
www.nagc.org