Positive Parent-Teacher Conferences
Working Together for Academic Success
By: Denise Yearian
| At the start of every school year, Jim and Darlene Harvey enter into an alliance that greatly affects their children's academic success. Though this parent-teacher partnership begins the day their children walk through the school doors, the true cooperative effort occurs during conference time. "You can't underestimate the benefits of having a working relationship with your child's teacher," says Harvey, a mother of three. | ||
| Andrea Graham, an elementary school teacher for 29 years, thinks parent-teacher conferences are an integral part of a child's educational experience. "It's a team effort—child, parent, and teacher. You need that team coming together for the child to be a success at school." | ||
| Preparation is Key Nearly all schools hold parent-teacher conferences in the fall, but frequency and duration vary from one academic setting to another. The school where Graham teaches schedules conferences twice a year, in the fall and spring. To stay on schedule and get the most out of conferences, Graham encourages parents to come on time and be prepared. "If they have specific questions or concerns, I want them to be able to bring them to the table," she says. | ||
| Harvey knows to come prepared. "Before leaving for conferences, I jot down a few things that come to mind—either concerns I have or things I have seen while watching my kids do homework," she says. One time it was a problem from the year before she didn't want to see crop up again. "I've found that if I don't make a list of what I want to discuss, I leave and on the way home think, 'Oh, I meant to bring that up!'" | ||
| Harvey also talks with her children before leaving for the conference. "When the kids first started school, they seemed a little anxious whenever they found out I was going to the meetings," she explains. "So now before I leave home, I just let them know if there is anything in particular I am going discuss with their teacher. This way, they can relax while I'm gone." | ||
| While some teachers prefer the students to remain at home, Graham invites students to attend their conferences. "I think it's important for them to hear what's going on—the good things we say about them and what we need to work on. It's important for them to see this is a joint effort and they have to do their part to make it happen," she says. | ||
| From time to time, Graham will have a parent who doesn't want her child sitting at the table during the conference. When this happens, Graham gets the student busy doing something else. "I always have paper, crayons, and books on hand. I bring snacks too." This is also helpful if younger siblings tag along. "I always try to work with the parents. If they bring their baby and he is crying, we work around that. My goal is to get the parent there so we can talk." | ||
| What to Expect During conference time, parents can expect to get a glimpse of their child's work and find out how he or she is progressing. Teachers generally maintain a portfolio for each student with documentation divided into sections such as reading, language arts, math, social studies and science, and behavior, Graham explains. | ||
| As they progress through each subject, Graham notes if the child is doing well in a particular subject and addresses areas of concern. If there is a problem, she makes a recommendation and asks for the parent's input. | ||
| This has been Nancy Thomas's experience. "When my kids were younger—the early elementary years—the teacher would show me samples of my child's work and give me her feedback." This, she says, gave her a better understanding of how her child was doing. "It's important to hear from the teacher's perspective. You may be thinking things are fine, but the teacher may have a concern." | ||
| Harvey found this to be true as well. She thought her daughter Jayden was doing just fine until conference time. During the meeting, the teacher mentioned five test papers that were supposed to be signed by the parent but had not been returned. | ||
| When Harvey got home, she asked her daughter about the papers and found it was a big misunderstanding. "Jayden looked totally shocked," Harvey recalls. "She said, 'Oh, I didn't realize they had to be signed and returned!' Then she ran and got her backpack and there they all were, stuffed in the bottom of her bag." Harvey notes if she hadn't attended the conference, the situation may have gotten worse. | ||
| It is natural for parents to come to the conference table with expectations, but they should realize teachers have some too. "My biggest expectation is that the parent wants to be there," says Graham. "I want them to listen, but I also want them to share. They know their child best." | ||
| One thing parents can do is tell the teacher a little about their child's likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses. It may even help to let the teacher know if there are any stressful conditions in the child's life—a move to new neighborhood, death of a loved one, divorce, etc. | ||
| If an academic or behavioral issue is addressed during the conference, most teachers make a recommendation and ask for the parent's input. "When my daughter started first grade, she had a big academic struggle ahead of her," Thomas explains. "Jessica had attended kindergarten at another school that didn't stress phonics, and that put her really behind the other kids who were now in her class." During the conference, Thomas and the teacher talked about ways to get Jessica caught up. "The teacher was very reassuring. We came up with a plan, and in time, she was doing fine." | ||
| Communication and Cooperation And what if you have a problem with your child's teacher? "Try to be non-confrontational but deal with the issue," says Harvey. "Express your concern without making accusations, and work together to solve it." | ||
| Graham agrees. "If parents have questions or concerns with me, I want them to come and tell me. Then if they aren't satisfied with my answer or don't get the results they expect, they can go to the principal. But I ask that they work with me first." | ||
| Following the conference, parents should sit down with their child and talk about what was discussed. "When we get home, I always tell the kids what the teacher says, and if she makes a suggestion, we put her ideas into practice. Then I follow up with the teacher when needed," Harvey says. | ||
| Thomas does this too. "Whether there is a problem or not, I tell the kids everything that went on. I want them to know we are all working together on this." | ||
| And working together is what it is all about. "I try to give 100 percent, and I want the parent and child to give 100 percent too," says Graham. | ||
| "What it boils down to is communication and cooperation—that's what parent-teacher conferences are all about," Harvey concludes. "It shouldn't be the only time you touch base with the teacher. But it should lay the groundwork for a working relationship that will benefit your child throughout the school year." | ||
| Conference Questions To get the most out of your conference time, you need to be prepared. Following is a list of questions parents may want to ask the teacher during conferences:
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