Just around the corner for your older teen, an adventure awaits. What parent doesn’t look at her child going off to college with a little bit of wistfulness in his eyes? Ah, the glory days, before the “real world” kicks in. But the exodus out of your house takes planning, whether your child is heading off across the country to college or to an apartment across town.

Getting Ready to Live on Their Own

Having a teen that already knows how to manage the basics of life makes for happier parents at this sensitive time. When she leaves, she should be able to:

• clean her room
• do laundry
• shop for food
• write a check and manage her finances
• clean a bathroom
• resolve conflict
• know when to call for help/advice

Coping With Your Empty Nest

While you’re ensuring your child can function without you, you’re bound to go through an emotional time as you start to plan for an “empty nest.” If you have other kids, it will surely be less dramatic; nevertheless, the family dynamics will definitely change. If this is your last child to leave the house, it will certainly be fraught with emotion.

New Ways to Fill Time. Once you feel certain that your child is ready to leave, start thinking about how you will weather the change. Realize that you may feel very sad for a while, but that it will pass. And if you don’t work full- or part-time, you might even relish the time that you didn’t have before to take a class, learn a language, participate in a running club or travel. Keep yourself busy at first if you’re not working—try to meet friends who are going through or have already gone through the same experience. Go to the movies, to the park. Do something you often weren’t able to treat yourself to when your child was living at home.

Manage Relationship Expectations. If you are married, discuss the coming changes with your spouse. Understand clearly what each of you expects in your new life. Hopefully you will be on the same page and one of you won’t want to see the world and the other one tinker around the house. In the end, the best thing you can do for your teen is to sit back and let him go. Know that the bond that you have forged in the first 18 years of his life will be enough to keep you and him strongly rooted.