The Talk: Age-By-Age, Same Sex Relationships
Tweens & Teens
By Laura Betts, LICSW, MSW
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Chances are, if your tween/teen has any access to media – TV, internet, music – same sex relationships will not be a new topic to them. However, there is a lot of misinformation readily available. Homophobic and derogatory remarks about same sex relationships frequently occur especially in the middle school and early high school years regardless of an individual’s own sexual orientation. Especially for teens, they are forming their own more complicated understanding of relationships and most likely dating.
Consider talks with tweens and teens more of a dialogue even though it may seem one sided at times! Listen to their questions and ask them what they think, it can give clues about what is on their mind and relevant to them. Watch shows with them, especially the ones that they like which often provide opportunity for discussions.
If your teen watches MTV, guaranteed they are already getting information about same sex relationships and much more. Teens or their friends may also be questioning their own sexual orientation and setting a general tone of openness about the broader topic will allow teens to bring their own questions to the table. Take advantage to talk when the topic of same sex relationships comes up – news, family/friends, or your local community. "Did you hear that story on the news about gay marriage? I wonder what you think about the issue. We have friends and family that have been in relationships a long time. What do people say at school?"
If they begin to talk, share your feelings and thoughts about same sex relationships. Again, think about this more as an ongoing conversation rather than a one time chat.
- Often teens work out their feelings about a wide range of issues with peers.
- Provide accurate information but expect they will talk with their friends.
- Have books about the topic, but don’t push them on your teen. Having them around allows your teen to independently look if they want.
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